First, I started off my sick movie night with Impostor. Yeah, dumb. Don't ever watch it. Plus, my computer + netflix doesn't work so hot, so it was kind of choppy and all the cool fight scenes ... weren't as cool. It has the guy from Law and Order: SVU and another guy that Cy told me what he was from, but I forgot. But yeah, I was going to spoil it for everyone, but I decided against it because one day you will have seen a movie that I want to see and I don't want it spoiled for me. Anyways, it was weird and corny and obvious plot line...(although I did guess 1/2 wrong).
Anyways, the dancing was AWESOME! I thought it was really legit, but then again, I'll leave that up to you. Well, so I have this ridiculous problem of thinking too much and looking into things way too far and applying them to "real life" rather than just watching a Hollywood movie. Maybe it is my way of justifying wasting my life away watching movies. If I can just learn something from it, than maybe I won't feel like a total loser.
Well, this is for you: Who cares? First of all, I bet you are good enough, but even if you aren't, who cares?
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key.Already Gone, Eagles
And we never even know we have the key.Already Gone, Eagles
My take on it is that if this is our only life, why waste it doing something that we do not love? You know, in church we talk a lot about love is the governing factor for our purpose here on earth. God created us out of love. Christ died for us out of love. The two great commandments are to love God and love ourselves. I don't think God created us out of love so that we can live hating our lives. Does anyone else think that it is a little contradictory? I know that there are ups and downs in life, and that we will each have our own trials, big or small. However, why should we make it worse on ourselves? God is giving me the right to choose, so why choose something that would make me unhappy or bored?
You know what I love? People. I love everything about the individuality of people. I love talking and connecting with them. I love meeting them all. I love losing track of time while holding hands. I love talking about dreams and about the world with others. I love climbing trees and talking about the day. I love laughing and making jokes with friends. Really, I can't get enough of it. I learned this on the mission. I hate and detest being cooped up inside. I love helping others and being with them and catching up with old friends and seeing how they are doing. I don't just love helping them, but I love helping them on an "intelluctual" or "mental" level. So many people in the world have lost track of their dreams to face the so-called "reality." But what is reality but a conjecture of how we view the world. Why don't we make it how we want it?
So, what can I do with all of that? On my mission I met this "real" world and it hit me hard. I saw poverty and people starving. I saw people who slept in trash bags on benches who had lost hope and you could see it. You can see their despair. And the only thing I hate more about being cooped up inside is seeing that look in someone's eyes. There are times when all I have is hope and it is all I have to keep going forward. So, if they are lacking that, what is going to become of them? I don't want to think about that. I want to avoid it. I want to brighten up their light again so that they can have a beacon of hope leading the way.
I know I am going off on my "dream," but I will get back to the rest of it. So, the question is: if this is what I really want, what am I going to do with it and how? Well: Here you go. I used to be going for a pre-med degree. On the outside I used the excuse that "I want to help people." Bull. I wanted to prove myself. To me, a medical degree was the most presitigious thing that I could think of and so I wanted to show the world that I could do it. I really didn't want it though. That was not me. So, I thought of lot's of other options: music, business and psychology were the main 3. I have realized that with music I could always do that on the side. My friend and I are already planning musical firesides to do for pre-missionary youth to get them excited about it. Psychology is interesting, but I couldn't see myself in an dark office asking ridiculous questions like, "how does that make you feel?" So, I put that aside.
Then, I took a sociology class. The whole time we were learning about sociological theories I was like: NO WAY! This is exactly how I feel about...life! I was sooo excited! This gave birth to my dream that I currently hold. So, here goes. I am going to get a degree in sociology (and I will gladly take you up on an argument to decide whether or not this is really a "hard" major...bring it). With this degree I'm going to focus on minority/racial problems and complex organizations/business sociology. With that training, this is how I am going to change the world: I want to work in Human Resources with an international company or with any company that would have reason to hire immigrants or work with different cultures. I want to work with these immigrants on adapting to the new work culture and environment. On my mission I noticed a lot of people were unable to change their lifestyle to a new one and because of that were unsuccessful at finding good jobs. Because they were unemployed, they were dirt poor. Because they were dirt poor, they were bringing the county's economy down. What if a way was found to give everyone a job that they could be productive with? Amazing things. So, I want to help these families one job, one person at a time.
I don't even know if this job is available or if the idea is even possible. But I am going to go for it. Somehow I'm going to find a way to help these people find jobs and get back on their feet. I want to see the hope in their eyes again.
I don't know if many people can understand the battle it took me to give up my past "desire" to become a doctor. It was so engrained in me that I was constantly attacking myself anytime that the idea came up to change. I kept trying to find ways to do it, but it just never worked. As I began to give in to my real dreams, the anxiety deepened. Questions arose. How am I supposed to do all of this? I don't even know where to start? How will it even be possible? Am I going to end up unemployed as well?
And then, I thought about the rest of my life. I saw myself as someone spending time with his family, happy and in a modest dwelling. Or I saw myself as an overworked and tired doctor still trying to prove to himself and everyone around him that he was worth something. I think that did it. I killed any ties to medicine and committed myself to sociology and the dreams of helping other people find the hope again.
So, back to the student who loves to dance. How do you think you are going to feel as an athletic trainer watching others going around dancing and you have to help them get back to dancing. Are you going to be content on the sidelines watching other people doing what you are soo passionate about? Don't worry, once you are too old and hurt too much to dance, you can become an athletic trainer and then work on the sideline. But right now it is your time. Are you afraid that you aren't good enough? Get out and work on it. All the people in this movie (Step Up 3) left everything because they loved to dance. I'm not saying to go live on the streets and breakdance for the rest of your life, but get up and start working on it.
I'm reading on awesome book called OUTLIERS. It is written for the sole purpose of saying that successful people are successful because of their circumstances, not necessarily because of talent. Some of it I agree with, some of it I am still struggling to find what I believe. However, in one chapter, he says that all of the amazing people out there who are really good at what they do (Bill Gates, professional violinists/pianists, etc.) all have put in more than 10,000 hours before they have gotten to that level. Again, I'm not advocating a complete devotion to dance (although I do advocate the following of your dreams), but realize that it is going to take work. Prove everyone wrong who doesn't think you can do it. That may include yourself. I think our biggest critiques and downers are ouselves. I have to battle with myself everyday to say that I can do it.
Make life the way that you want it. Make the most out of this precious life that God has given you. Find what you love and are passionate about and run with it as far as your heart can carry you. Just go. Don't let yourself ever think that you have reached your limit. Keep on going. Keep on experimenting. Think outside of the box and you will go soo far. You know, not many people die while they are running. We never know how far we are able to go because we get afraid and stop running. You need to just go all the way.
I love this topic. I want the world to wake up from their sick "reality" and start molding the world into their dreams. Think of how beautiful and amazing it would be if we all worked for our loves. It would seriously be amazing. I want to help build that. I'm not going to make some international movement, but I am going to work at it one person, one dream at a time.